Being in business and being a motivational speaker, I enjoy speaking in front and meeting new people. I have had the experience of speaking in front of 6000 people and it was exciting for me. Also, I am happy to say that it was not always like that. Back then, I never thought that I would ever have the self-confidence that most people see in me now. How did that happen?
We were born without any inhibitions whatsoever. When we were little, we can sing or dance in front of everybody and it really does not matter. Our loss of self-confidence stemmed from a lifelong of feeling unworthy and a series of rejections or specific incidences. But the good news is if we can lose self-confidence, we can also regain it back.
Often enough, I observe that most Pinoys tend to shy away from big crowds and conversations with strangers or acquaintances. I find that quite interesting since Pinoys are naturally energetic and happy, but they tend to withdraw from instances that require them to stand up.
I think Pinoys inability to be assertive comes from our innate nature of wanting to please everybody. I say this to you now, it is impossible to please everyone. If you always think about other people, then forever let go of your dream of building your self-confidence. So first step, do not try to please everybody.
Second step: read. This may seem a bit far-fetched to some people since most readers are introverts, but reading helps you develop your verbal skills. Also, it is a great way for you to know more about a certain topic or so. Make it a habit to browse the newspaper or magazine every so often.
For the third step, practice speaking louder than your normal voice. Do not shout; that’s different. Speaking louder gives you a sense of authority and knowledge in what you are saying, giving you the self-confidence that you want.
This may seem a bit cliché, but smiling can boost your self-confidence. If you are feeling a bit nervous and wants to ease up a bit, smile. It even relaxes the people around you making the conversation a bit lighter for everyone. This is easy for Pinoys as we are naturally hospitable and cheerful.
Lastly, stand up straight or sit up straight. Your posture says a lot about you. Droopy shoulders and arched back reflect a low self-confidence and self-esteem. Look at some of the people you admire in terms of self-confidence and you will notice that they carry themselves well.
Building your self-confidence may take some time and a lot of practice. Just keep doing it and face up to the challenge whenever possible. Sooner or later, you will be surprised that you can already have the self-confidence that you worked hard to have.